There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
the day after is always just damage control
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
