my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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