Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
