Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Let's paint friendship bongs
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
