Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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