And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
