haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
