Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
