We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
