I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
only if we run a train.
done.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
