Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
And then my night got REAL pukey
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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