I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize