just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
