Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
This baby is an asshole
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
