Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
