I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
That accounts for only three of the penises
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
