She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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