I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
