At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
This is my gift to your gina
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
