You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
