bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
