1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
