You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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