In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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