she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
