That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize