I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I'm bleeding and have questions
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
