I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
His hands were made for my vagina.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
We have started to decorate penises.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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