Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
