dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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