In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
