Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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