found the other keg... it's in the tree
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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