he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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