So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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