did you get engaged???
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
