i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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