At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
