so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
