Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
