Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
