So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I think my moral compass just broke
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
