They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
