please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
