i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize