he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
