.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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