i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
