So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
