Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
