is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
dude. I can hear the air.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
