the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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