is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
