if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
