it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
