I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
