well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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