That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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