I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
