Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
