just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
