My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Randomize
