We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I checked into jail on foursquare
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
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