yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
