I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
