I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
