i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
