At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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