how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
