I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Banned from zoo.
Again?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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