great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Randomize
