Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
