my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
