Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
