I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
