he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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